The 30-Day Writing Challenge #LivingWriters #Viettothon30days
Week 2 – Day 9– 1st Feb 2025
Topic #2: Write about something you used to dislike about yourself but have come to accept.

While writing this, I want to express my gratitude to a friend and the students I met during my two months of volunteering as a teacher in Thailand. It was the first time I understood that people have different beauty standards. Today, I feel more comfortable with my appearance, I don’t try to change it anymore, and this shift has completely transformed my life.

I grew up with a definition of beauty in my area that I never fit into. I have very tanned skin, while girls were expected to have fair skin. I struggled when shopping for pants because I have a bigger figure than average, and I always chose loose pants to cover my body. Otherwise, people would joke about it, and I felt self-conscious when walking. I have smaller breasts, missing teeth in my lower jaw, and my nails are in poor condition due to my bad habits. One of my eyes is also smaller than the other.

People gave me different nicknames based on these features. Body shaming was a common practice in my area, and through it, I learned what was considered beautiful. Some even wrote these nicknames on walls where I had to see them every day, whether going out or returning home. I felt insecure going outside, and when I had to, I wore a cap and kept my head down while walking. I was afraid to shake hands with people or let them see my hands when writing or signing documents. I avoided taking photos because they would reveal all my so-called flaws. The humiliation didn’t come only from peers but also from relatives.

Because of this, I tried many things to change how I looked. I used different products to make my skin fairer. I wore loose clothing to hide my breasts and only wore push-up bras even though they were uncomfortable. My mom spent a lot of money on supplements that claimed to enhance breast size, but they never worked. I even altered my teeth so I could smile and talk without fear of revealing my missing ones. I did all these things, but I never truly felt better.

Then, one day, I went to Thailand as a volunteer. Every day, Thai students told me how pretty I was, and local teachers said the same. I heard it so often that I started to believe it. A foreign friend also told me he loved my sunny smile and how it brightened his day. These were words I had never heard in my entire 20 years of life. But for two months, in a country not so far from my own, I heard them over and over again. I even spent some days at my friend’s school, and his students also complimented my looks, giving me the nickname “pretty teacher.”

Those were some of the happiest days of my life—proof that even an ‘ugly girl’ could be seen as pretty in a different world. Words I thought I would never hear became part of my reality.

When I returned to my country, I stopped trying to change my appearance. Instead, I changed my mindset and my definition of beauty. I reminded myself that there are places where people see me as beautiful. I began feeling more confident and comfortable in my own skin. I learned to respect natural beauty and realized that everyone is beautiful in their own way. We cannot impose our own image of perfection onto others. The more I traveled and experienced different cultures, the more my confidence grew. Interestingly, this positive shift in my mindset also influenced my appearance in ways I never expected.

Even now, I sometimes feel I am not as pretty as I would like to be, but I no longer try to change how I look. Instead, I focus on being natural and authentic. I respect my appearance and prioritize feeling comfortable in my own skin. What matters most is how I see myself, not how others see me.

Remember, we are all beautiful.

Thanks for reading.