I don’t know when this definition came into my mind — “empty value.”
A friend or a colleague once said it, and somehow it stayed with me. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about being surrounded by people with “empty value” and the scariest question for me is: am I one of them today, or could I become one in the future?

To me, an “empty value” person feels very similar to a liar.
Their thoughts, their words, and their behavior don’t align — sometimes they even contradict each other. It reminds me of an article about the “empty self” on Medium: a beautifully decorated box that is hollow inside.

I still don’t know if there’s a clear definition for “empty value” or how it should be described. But from what I’ve observed, it looks like this:

• Lacks a clear inner compass: they shift depending on who they’re with. They manipulate to get what they want in the moment, even if it goes against what they said earlier. They don’t know what they truly stand for.
• Constant need for external validation: different from normal self-doubt. They constantly try to show others how good or attractive they are, sometimes by comparing themselves to others to feel superior — because they’re insecure inside.
• Shallow conversations: everything stays on the surface. You think they care when they ask personal questions, but later you realize they use that information against you — and they never share their own vulnerability.
• Lives reactively, not intentionally: instead of choosing based on values or purpose, they simply go with whatever happens and let life push them around.
• Emotionally disconnected: They may feel emotions, but they hide them behind a fake sense of stability. That’s why their behavior changes so often — they don’t own their feelings.
• Lack of reflection and growth: They claim to be “open-minded,” but that doesn’t mean they truly are. They filter your feedback, only accepting the positive and ignoring constructive criticism, often finding reasons to justify it.

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I feel itchy every time I see these inconsistencies, or when I’m around people like this.

I often give trust easily at the beginning — very open, very vulnerable. But these “empty value” people have used that openness and broken my trust. I see their inconsistency, their true colors.

So I distance myself.

They notice it.

Then they try to pull me back with sugar-coated words.

But now, I already know what happens after all the sugar melts.

It becomes bitter.
And rotten.

I no longer know what is true and what is a lie.
I don’t know whether I should stay or leave.
I love the place — but not some of the people in it.

And the scariest thought is:

What if one day I become like them?
A person I can’t stand, or even dislike.
What if I follow the same track, lose my values, and become an empty box with nice decoration?

It scares me how many more people I start to recognize with this pattern.

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But then I ask:

Do I feel emotions?
Do I reflect on myself?
Do I try to understand the world and others?
Do I enjoy deep conversations?
Do I live with a purpose — or at least try to find it?

These questions guide me and remind me: “You’re overwhelmed.” But sometimes I’m scared—scared that I might become the kind of person who intentionally hurts others.